Have you ever heard a guy say something like “It was sooooo cold, I like to froze my ‘nads off!”

Yeah … NO. When it gets cold, those babies go for warmth, and the only place resembling warmth, if it’s REALLY cold, is UP. Those babies retract like the landing gear on a 747! How do I know that? Because this morning, it’s 34 degrees outside the trailer, and MAYBE 35 degrees INSIDE. Where is the heater? Doesn’t have one! BUT – Willy is clever – he brought an electric one! And it is nice and safe inside one of the cabinets! Where are MY ‘nads? Yeah. Not even a crow bar will bring those babies out today, at least not until the temperature rises a couple dozen degrees. Damn! It’s COLD! I think my voice has risen an octave or two, as well. That should return when the boys do.

Eventually we make it out, mostly because nature calls, and, even though wetting yourself sounds like a welcome proposition right now (well, it WOULD warm us up a bit, though VERY temporarily, and then it would be even worse!), it just doesn’t appeal as an option, so throw on the warmest clothes we brought (not much – it’s summer!) and grin and bear it. Later – FIX THE HEATER! Oh, because I forgot to mention – it works, but it makes noise, so will need “adjusting”.

Anyway, we decide to go for a ride at a very nearby trail – the Continental Divide Trail, which is just up the road from camp – three miles by highway, and then off-road! Woohoo! Except they’re working on the highway, right outside our camp. Well, they’re off-road bikes, so I take off down the side of the road, paralleling the highway, past the workmen, then get up on the closed section of road the rest of the way, until the end where there are more workers, and we hit the weeds again. Finally get to the top of the hill on the highway, the Continental Divide, and see a dirt road going off on both sides … we go right, mostly because that’s the side of the road we’re on. And we climb. And we climb. And we … did I mention we climbed? Do these people just not know how to follow contour lines? Really! Here’s a shot of what we had just come up:

Yes, we came up from that valley, and that was only about five miles ago, starting at camp! And three of those miles were highway! Ok, probably a third to half of the climb was also highway, but we still had to climb it! We got to the top … sort of … there WAS a downhill section, followed by a VERY steep uphill section, see?

Yeah, we sent Junior ahead to check it out, and the verdict was it just kept climbing, so we chickened out and rode back down. The downhill was almost fun, but this was very sandy soil, so you never really knew what the bike was going to do … kind of precarious riding, not really a lot of fun, though it WAS better than pedaling up the hill!

Ok, so we get to the bottom, and decide to check out the other side of the trail, across the highway. GREAT IDEA! We have singletrack! Of course, what does it do? It goes up. And up. And … ok, so you get the drift. It goes up. A lot. Maybe another couple of miles, but at this altitude (started at 6,500 and went to almost 8,000), it really hurts, but it was fun, and on this side, the downhill was a blast! Here is a shot of Junior at the top of the trail:

Ok, not really the top-top, but that was less than 100 yards from here, so this picture counts!

A great day of riding, if not that much distance. The road ride back was less exciting, though it did go a lot faster, being all downhill.

So, that was pretty much it for the day! No … wait … there was actually something else. We went into town to look around, and stumbled across a place called Big Gun Fun. They let you shoot all kinds of guns, and they kind of have them also set up as themes, like James Bond package lets you shoot several of the types of guns featured in various Bond films. What they also have, is machine guns! I’ve fired a machine gun before – actually a machine pistol (a Mac 10 in 9mm Luger, back when I was living in Austin in around 1975), but it was so long ago I hardly remember the event. Anyway … I’ve always been a fan of the Uzi, having come pretty close to buying one back in the 70s, but had never actually even touched one. Ok, for 50 bucks, I could actually put two magazines worth of ammo through one, 40 whole rounds, either semi-auto or full-auto, my choice. Truly an offer I could not pass up! So … here I am, getting ready:

And by the way, a funny thing here – I’m wearing a Hawaiian shirt, and it just so happens this particular gun was the one used by Don Johnson in Miami Vice! I thought it was a funny coincidence!

So, how did I do? You tell me – First magazine is the lower group, three shots in semi-auto, then four bursts of between three and five rounds. Second magazine was the top group, done full-auto, all in one burst, no stopping. I think it’s pretty good!